Bring Him Back
by xxDibDabxx
Summary: Jack has always lost everyone. Everyone. He can't die but that doen't make him immortal. His mind is still human. He forgets all those smiles, all those voices, all those laughs... and God-be-damned he wasn't about to let Ianto become another lost memory.
1. Bring

**Bring Him Back: Chapter One**

**FanFiction! Long time, no see ;) You got real tall. **

**This is sadly not my return. But it is a promise that I will. I wrote this after season three, simply because I couldn't stop crying, and I needed to do this to assure myself that they would bring Ianto back :) They have to. And if they don't, then I have! It makes logical sense. I wrote this a while ago but it's been giving my puppy eyes from my hard-drive so, here, take it and give it some love. It's intensely angsty, but it gets the job done ;)**

**This is for my friends and fans (?) just to say I miss them and that I will be back eventually. Review is you feel like it, I still check my emails. I'll hopefully rejoin you soon. Goodbye. **

* * *

The nebula burnt.

Great waves of bronze rippled out, igniting the whole galaxy, sending everyone of those blossoming planets up in flame, life and all. The pale orbs of pure white fire could be seen on the other side of the universe, just little dots in the sky.

But standing in the fire, it was truly beautiful.

The heat and the light and the destruction in perfect physical form took whatever breath there was left from his lungs. The universe whined as the loss grew greater and greater. A hole was pierced in those spiralling planets. It expanded, like termites were eating away at it, consuming it completely only there were no little nibbling creatures here. The once harmonious clump of wonder was turning to ash, melting away from solid form to mere dust that would float around forever.

The heat alone licked away any colour or any feeling left anywhere. Flames reached out, excruciating pearly hands desperate to grasp something else to light, letting the unstoppable force expand and consume. Then the heat turned to chill.

Once stunning with its impossible colours and almost eye-like form, the nebula was now cobalt. Deep, dead cobalt. Ever felt something so hot it was cold? So blazingly hot it was literally like bathing in ice rather than burning in flames? Doubt you have. Well. It hurts. Like freezing to death when not a single thing in the whole of existence can warm you up because you are so far beyond warmth, you're left in the dark, cold and oh so empty vastness of space. Not good, huh?

There was only one single man of flesh that could walk from the ash clouds and gas storms and forests of flames.

Breathing in what atmosphere was left, Jack sighed. The fire grew larger. The nebula began to scream.

He was waiting. He'd waited many long months, each second purely painful. It took him months just to get off that God forsaken planet. Earth was a death trap. Jack should know. The Captain knew he would have to wait, hell; he waited years just in _Cardiff _of all places just to find the Time Lord the first time, so here he was waiting again. Taking the long, exhausting and painful route while the Doctor took a cheating short cut. Jack waiting through time, moving with it while the Doctor surfed time, moving against it. He was naughty like that.

And Jack needed the Doctor. Oh, he needed the Doctor more than anything. So while Jack waited, he waited somewhere he _knew_ the Doctor would be eventually. Jack floated there, eternally dying over and over, not even gasping when he came back, so numb he didn't feel the pain anymore. Jack was in the heart of the flames and when the Doctor came, because that Time Lord wouldn't be able to resist the nebula dying without a Goddamn beautiful bang. Then the Doctor would find Jack.

Until then, the immortal man just let himself burn. Suffocate. Freeze to death. Be pulled apart by the gravity forces of the various planets as they shook and moved out of the correct orbital pattern. Whichever got him first. And he died over and over.

Each time he saw the _oh so_ elegant Darkness. It blinked, almost groggily and smiled at him. Greeting him with open arms everytime, so close to that comforting embrace in which Jack would be taken. He'd smile back, in a sad sort of way. You see, Jack knew the moment it hovered over his skin, so very close but so very far that another pair of arms would come in. Life's cold grip would clasp around him and Jack would be dragged back. It would force the air into his lungs and the light into his eyes and he would live again. Damn.

Jack often wondered when the Darkness would just shrug and not bother to reach out for him anymore. As the numbness suddenly fell off him, he smiled at the very Darkness. It was always just them, him and the Darkness, when he died. There was only one time it was different. Jack hated the memory but it came back anyway, scarred across his mind forever with so many other memories. So many…

…………………………………

Those sapphires used to gleam, they did. They were always so full of brilliant, charming smiles, or seductive 'come-hither's, or that deep, delicious fear or of those pregnant tears. And every single glance in Jack's direction was dripping in affection, sometimes literally. It was those times that shattered Jack as the old – so old – man looked down and watched the very essence of humanity, the last gleaming tear and the last wisp of life leave those sapphires.

They clouded over in a film, Ianto looking into a world far away that no one still breathing could see. Eyelids fluttered shut. A desperately fluttering heartbeat gave in and stopped. A final breath gave out in a silent whimper. The virus stopped pumping around his body. Jack could only gasp for the air that wouldn't come into his lungs. Only a single, traitorous tear had fallen down his face. His voice was begging, pleading, _desperately _demanding in a situation he couldn't control.

"Ianto. Stay with me". His voice broke and every onlooker felt their hearts break, "Don't leave me, _please_…"

How many times had Jack been in this situation before? How many times had Jack had to hold, had to cradle, had to _feel_ and _watch_ and _hear _people die in his arms? People he lo… He hadn't let himself. Promised himself he wouldn't. But Ianto had loved him. Damn it, that tea-boy had loved him knowing Jack couldn't love him back. Oh God. Oh God, oh God, oh God!

And he was gone.

Ianto was gone...

Jack had to sit there and watch, the shock cracking his fragile form. The last, insignificant, beautiful piece of Ianto Jones left its empty shell of a body and grasped a hold of Freedom's hand. A soul so pure, so innocent, so Goddamn unreachable drifted into the raw, dirty air of the humans and it smiled at Jack. It _smiled_ as it floated out on Ianto's last breath.

The immortal man felt the determination overtake his body. Not again. Not bloody again!

The virus was trying to rip apart a body that had been shredded far too many times to care. It grasped a firm hold on that rigid heart and it laughed in victory. Jack closed his eyes so willingly, leaning down and trapped Ianto's soul with his own as it fell from his mouth. The kiss captured the last bit of Ianto Jones and trapped it with the not-so-last bit of Jack Harkness. The Darkness was fully awake this time, clapping its hands together jollily and reached out for the two visitors. Jack died for what he wanted to be the last time on Ianto's lips, falling down, momentarily lifeless, still holding the permanently lifeless form of his once-lover. Still-lover. Always-lover.

Ianto turned around, still as beautiful as ever. He stared, unexpectedly content around at the Darkness, smiling back as Jack always did. The arms reached out for him. He went to embrace them so willing, and for the first time ever, Jack found he had a voice here.

"No!"

Whatever forms they took here, they didn't know. They couldn't see. They couldn't hear. They just… knew. Jack knew it was Ianto and Ianto knew it was Jack. The words weren't really said. Weren't really thought. There were no tones or facial expressions, just Darkness. But they knew. Somehow, in some way humanity will never understand, they just knew.

Ianto turned yet again, and this time his beaming smile became so magnificent, Jack was stunned. Ianto's soul was breath-taking. And Ianto simply stared, completely horrified at Jack's soul, but not letting a fragment of it show on his face. Jack grasped Ianto, pulling him close. Jack stood in front of Ianto and faced the Darkness head on. Ianto stared, curious as well as surprised as another pair of arms joined them, bleachingly, blindingly white. Ianto stood between the new arms and Jack.

Both the Darkness and Life froze, unable to get their victims. The Darkness couldn't take Jack; he couldn't die. Life couldn't take Ianto; he was dead.

And so both men had their last moments of freedom. Jack was the first to turn around and face Ianto, who turned around too. There was just a moment, a tiny, oh so brilliant moment in which they looked at one another. Our souls and bodies are so very different. Yet so very similar. It's actually quite confusing.

And then, in some strange way, in a way that they possibly couldn't have but still they did, they kissed. In was a breaking kiss in which they threw each and every single thought and emotion they'd felt for each other into. For that miniature period of time, if there is time there, they actually combined into a single soul. Everything about them was one. Love, passion, lust, affection, adoration, heartbreak, fury, jealousy, resentment, pity and ever single drop of hatred were pushed into that action. They kissed so gently it brought them to tears. They kissed so violently they bled. It was simply glorious.

And then they paused. Not for breath, since they couldn't. Just paused. Resting their foreheads together, they smiled and chuckled briefly even. It was one of those moments you want to last forever. Well. For at least a little longer than it does.

The two arms whined and creaked in anticipation.

Jack spoke first, rushed and desperate, full of unspoken things.

"I'll bring you back".

Their lips fell together again, oh so briefly.

Ianto smiled a weak and sad smile. He answered it like it answered everything.

"I love you". Voice cracking, Jack knew he should say it back. He just… couldn't.

Lips brushed together.

"This is my fault. I'll fix it. I'm bringing you back". Jack always was stubborn.

And again.

"I'll miss you".

This time shorter.

"I'll find him, Ianto. I'll find him and he'll bring you back".

This time longer.

"Don't forget me, though. Please, Jack".

This time angry, very angry. And at the same time, so accepting.

"Stop saying goodbye! I'm bringing you back!"

And then Ianto had this look. Full of regret, and of pity and of unbestowed adoration. It was a look of defeat. Jack may fight and Jack may shout and Jack may die a thousand times but the immortal warrior would never win a war against Life and Death. They were the very backbone of him. And backbones can break. Ianto had accepted it was time for him to leave and he pitied Jack for not.

Grasping him tightly, Jack pulled him in for a final, desperate kiss. Jack had accepted it too, but that wouldn't stop him fighting. This kiss was full of tears and whispered secrets and forbidden truths and everything. Jack pulled Ianto into his very soul, trying _so_ hard to wrap himself around Ianto completely, making the Welsh tea-boy a part of the immortal man, unable to be taken away. But Jack just couldn't grasp hard enough.

The arms wriggled around one another, trading places. The Darkness sighed sadly and Life growled irritated. Jack was plucked up and pulled away; screaming and kicking like a toddler. The Darkness patted Ianto on the shoulder and offered him a hug of sympathy. Ianto ignored it for a moment, watching Jack with a look of pure grief.

"No! No, don't take me without him! Please, leave me!" Then, realising Life had a grip that no other force could mirror, Jack reached out to Ianto, not a single tear falling. "Ianto!"

The very person smiled despite everything, eyes glazed over beautifully as he grinned. He said one single word that broke Jack into thousands of pieces. It was a word that described everything and the only thing that mattered to Jack more than anything. The only thing Ianto would die for. And the only thing Ianto would live for. He said it so softly, it was silent.

"Jack".

And then Jack awoke with a short gasp desperate to not, yet knowing that the world was back, along with his body. And he sat up and saw the cold, blue, dead body of Ianto. And the world fell apart. The walls cracked. The air split. The very pieces of life crumbled. His whole body came apart in shudders of agony, ripping his patch-work heart to shreds of lost hope. Jack clung onto Gwen as though he would fall from reality without her as an anchor. The tears wouldn't stop.

He'd lusted after her and he'd made Ianto watch. But Ianto was gone now and Gwen still lived. How dare she...

……………………………………………

The Darkness looked fondly at Jack and reached out. Jack reached back, ready to jump that Goddamn monster if only to glimpse Ianto again. But just as it was about to touch him and his little, non-existent heart pounded, thinking that just by wishing for death would prevent life, he was snatched back. He came to, gasping in air. Air? And he felt a pair of arms around him, grasping him tightly, securing him. Where was the numbness? And a voice whispering in his ear. Words of comfort.

"It's okay, Jack. I got you". That voice… He knew that voice. He _knew_ that voice!

Finally, Jack saw what he was looking at. Those deep, ancient, crippled eyes bore into him, full of sympathy. That brilliant, broad smile grinned down at him, cracked with concern. And that _hair_! Pinstripes, deep, living humming and the interior of a blue box. Finally, here he was. Finally, Jack had found him. Finally, Jack was naked?

"Doctor!" The very man beamed. Jack beamed back. Letting go of his protective grip, the Doctor rocked back on the balls of his feet and simply knelt there, looking at Jack with an arched eyebrow. Jack sat up fully, trying to gather some sense. The immortal certainly wasn't afraid of sitting there in his birthday suit. In fact, he didn't understand why humans in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries demanded clothes. They had a lot to learn.

"Well, Jack. This is a surprise. Aren't you meant to be in Cardiff?"

Jack frowned at the Time Lord. How had he gotten in the Tardis? He was in the fire, and everything was dying, and then there was screaming and then there was Darkness and memories and – Oh God, Doctor! About Goddamn time! I love you, I love you, I _bloody _love you! You're here and… and… okay. Calm down, Jack. Breathe. There we go.

Jack jumped up, pulling the Doctor to his feet and sending a jolt of fear through the Time Lord. Jack started bounding around the control room naked like Tigger on crack. His face alight in sudden excitement and joy, pointing to various objects and mumbling incoherent words. The Doctor stood there, watching him and feeling dizzy, officially scared. And then Jack's mind kicked in, calming the immortal man down.

The smile died.

Jack stared into nothingness and clutched his chest, hugging it, suddenly as if in pain. The man began to fall apart all over again. Jumping to help him, the Time Lord grabbed Jack and lowered him into the Captain's chair, as ironic as that was. Jack stared with wide, desperate eyes at the Doctor and said three words that terrified the Time Lord.

"Bring him back".


	2. Him

**Bring Him Back: Chapter Two**

"What?" The Doctor stared at Jack with little more than shock and simple confusion. Jack was on his feet, one hand grasping the Doctor by the shoulder to keep himself upright as pain shuddered through his immortal form while the other hand was on the Doctor's neck, clawing at a way to reach that infinite knowledge. Two sets of old, broken eyes met. "Jack, what are you talking about?"

"He's gone, Doctor. They killed him – I killed him. I've killed them all. But you can bring him back!" There were no tears. No sobbing. Just cold, hard confessions. The Doctor looked at Jack, eyes full of pity and puzzlement. Pushing away Jack's hands and ending the suffocating hold, the Doctor cupped one the side of the immortal's face. The Time Lord's face was calm and controlled as his infamous compassion rained on the immortal, washing away all the grief and guilt.

"It's okay, Jack. You're in a time machine; you have all the time you need. Just calm down. Look at me, Jack". The Doctor regretted this request after he met Jack's eyes. They were dead. Literally, dim and lifeless. The colour was fading, almost gone but still Jack's heart beated weakly. That ill-fated immortal was dying slowly from his loss, his insides crumbling to nothing while his prison of bone and flesh kept him upright. Was this what happened to all the immortal humans?

"My team," Jack said at last, eyes moist, "Do you remember them?" The Doctor grinned, eye brow raised,

"Of course! The brilliant Torchwood team, Cardiff! Toshiko Sato, space pig in London! Fantastic! And the other doctor, Owen Harper. I never did tell him about his childhood dog… Ah well. And, of course, Gwen Cooper! A fighter if ever there was one. And who can forget the tea boy? Ianto Jones: The one who saved the world by making coffee! He was my favourite". Jack smiled, just a little. A moment of silence while the Doctor grinned at Jack and thought he was actually lifting a damned, dense mood. Than Jack said, voice toneless, yet still sounding like ever word physically hurt him,

"They're all gone now. Torchwood is gone".

The grin died and the Doctor just stared. Jack smiled back sadly. He continued, biting each and every syllable, wishing them not to be true, even though they undoubtedly were. "Owen was shot, saving Martha Jones. He died, officially. But I brought him back. Resurrection glove, or, as Ianto called it, the 'Risen Mitten'-"

"You have a glove that brings people back from the dead?" The Doctor seemed more curious than angry.

"-Just for a few seconds; to say goodbye. But something came back with him, used him as a portal, and he came back permanently. Don't worry! We killed the creature and destroyed the glove. But Owen stayed alive. Or dead. Well, conscious. He couldn't feel or heal, but he was back," he cleared his throat as a look of loss hit the Time Lord, "He is now trapped inside a nuclear power plant. He prevented it from melting and destroying Cardiff with the price of getting stuck inside, having to watch his own body decompose for God knows how long," his voice turned distant, "I went to talk to him sometimes. Through a speaker system, of course. I don't know if he could hear, but I talked anyway on the tiny chance he could".

The Doctor swallowed against a lump in his throat, feeling such great sympathy for that poor doomed soul of Owen Harper. Everything that doctor had been through: his fiancée, the pilot from the past, and then dying twice.

"I'm sor-" but Jack cut across him,

"Tosh tried to stop the plant from melting, but she was shot too. But still she spent her last few minutes trying to save Owen, without success and then comforting him. He didn't even know she was shot, as far as we know. I had to hold her hand and she died smiling, right there in front of me. I came too late," a sigh, "All those years and we lost two in a matter of seconds," a long, shaky breath, "My brother, Gray… he shot her. I had to freeze him before he ended the world". Laughter without humour. "But he's gone too now. As is everyone who was cryogenically frozen. The hub… it's gone. Exploded. I was killed, and while I was out, someone felt the need to put a bomb in my stomach. I went into the hub and… boom".

The Doctor hissed as he imagined the agony it must have caused for Jack,

"Oh, Jack-"

"Where were you, Doctor?" Jack looked up, accusing eyes thick with tears scowling, full of confusion. The Doctor just stared back, "The 456… They came back. They wanted the children. And the government were going to give them over!" The Doctor sighed, closing his eyes,

"You humans will never learn, will you?" Jack growled, grasping the Doctor's hand that still cupped his face, and pulling it away, his nails digging into the Doctor's wrist while his eyes lost all sorrow and became virtual balls of infuriated flame, scowling.

"We needed you! They killed him, Doctor! They killed Ianto!" The Doctor just stared, finally seeing a broken heart among the fragments of Jack. They just looked at each other for what must have been decades, the Doctor swimming, drowning, thrashing about in his oceans of guilt, regret and such blissful understanding.

"What happened?" The Time Lord asked in a gentle, soothing but vitally urgent voice. Looking away, Jack tried _so_ hard not to cry at the memories that threw themselves at him, scarred so clearly in his mind. He shouldn't be able to cry this much. Not over one person.

"I can't…" he whispered. The immortal let go of the Doctor, wanting to fall back into the chair, curl into a ball and physically push away the memories. He wanted to go back into that warm, safe shell he'd sought refuge in through the last long, aching months. Jack had given into mourning. But The Doctor grabbed Jack's hand again; cupping his face once more and making Jack look directly into his eyes, unable to collapse into the shell, the Doctor begged.

"Please, Jack. Tell me what happened and I can help". Jack gazed into those eyes, taken aback and completely unsettled at the amount of honesty he saw, but at the same time effectively comforted and calm, taken deep breaths. Hugging himself to keep his patch-work body together through the pain, Jack kept that promise of aid in mind as he forced a tongue to move, a throat to resist sobs and a mind to go over the unbearable. To relay what had happened in that awful week. His voice was shattered, each sentence obviously agonising for him. And it brought the Doctor to tears as he listened, so desperate to take away the pain and the change the past, but knowing he couldn't. Jack's soul poured from his mouth as this killed him so much faster. He'd never repeated what had happened to anyone – not even Gwen.

The Tardis whined as She felt the Doctor's pain in her mind. The Time Lord had sent her into hibernation, so as to keep Jack _inside_, knowing the Tardis would do everything to remove him, should She feel him.

"The 456 came to Earth in the late 1900s and they wanted twelve children. We either gave them the children, without knowing where they were going or what they were wanted for, or the 456 would release a new strand of Indonesian flu on the world. We estimated it would kill millions. So I gave them the children – orphans. Wouldn't be missed," He avoided the Doctor's gaze, sensing the disapproval and lingering glare without having to look, "But they came back in 2009. And they…they demanded 10% of the world's children. They were talking through the children, terrifying everyone. And the governments of the world were just going to hand the kids over. Our own government tried to kill us, putting the bomb in me and hunting Ianto and Gwen down, because they knew we wouldn't let it happen".

The Doctor just stared, a single tear falling as he felt traitorous shame and hatred for his favourite race.

"We recorded everything they said and used it to blackmail them. We got into the MI5 building and talked to the 456. We said… that we refused to give the 456 the children and that we'd release our footage. The 456 would have to deal with an angry race of humans willingly to die to protect their children. And you know what the 456 said?" The Doctor shook his head weakly and Jack laughed without humour, "It declared war on us," he closed his eyes, taking another raspy breath as he hugged himself tighter, gasping through the words.

"It… The 456… Sealed the building. No one could get in or out. It released a virus; maybe he same virus from 1965, I don't know. But every single person in that building… died. I tried to save him. To get him out, but…" Jack choked on the words, so the Doctor finished his sentence for him, another tear falling from eyes that never wept,

"It was too late".

Jack nodded weakly, his eyes shut so tight. He whispered, in a voice so alike to his final breath, it was beautiful.

"He died in my arms. And when I died, I had to-to come back to a world… without him. But… I…I-Really, I tri…ed". The Doctor wanted to reach out, wanted to embrace Jack, wanted to pull Jack into his unbreakable chest and let Jack's pain become his own because this was a problem he couldn't save Jack from. The Doctor couldn't stop death. Letting go of Jack's hand, cheek and dropping his head with a small sigh, the Doctor let the immortal fall into himself, sobbing quietly and crumbling a part inside. The Doctor knew what it was like to love someone and lose them. He knew better than anyone. And Jack knew too; he'd lost so many.

"Jack-" But the immortal sucked in a sharp breath and continued, voice just as dead as before.

"I stopped the 456. They transmitted this… signal. The talk through the kids. To kill. And we reversed it, sending it back through the kids and killing the 456. But the child we used to send the signal, he died. My grandson, Steven, he was the nearest child and the 456 was about to take all the kids, so I had to kill him. My daughter, Alice, Steven's mum, she had to watch him die," he sighed deeply, "She may as well be dead. It wouldn't hurt as much as having to watch her hate me…"

"I'm sorry, Jack. I'm so sorry".

Silence. Brittle, sob-filled, regretful silence. A silence that let anger brew and let emotion flare and let a broken heart swell with its unchangeable loss.

"Where were you?" Jack shouted; The Doctor not even flinching, "You could have stopped it! You could have saved him! You could of saved them _all_!" A few tears of anger fell over his cheeks. Swallowing against a growing lump, the Doctor shook his head,

"I couldn't have, Jack. I didn't know. But I know of the 456," Jack looked up, eyes wide in surprise and the Doctor looked back, so sympathetic, "I've dealt with them once before. They return back to Earth in the year 2164. And they do exactly what you just said. They try to take the children, but all of them this time. And I was already there – long story – but I stop them. I try to reason, but they're blind. It's drugs, isn't it? The children are like drugs to them. Chemicals in the blood". Jack stared and nodded again, knowing the Doctor wasn't lying. Because he hadn't told him that. The Doctor continued,

"They're a powerful race. You don't want to know they're real name. But they are like technology itself. They can hack anything. Even people. So they could have gotten into government and Torchwood systems alike, wiping the record of themselves so we wouldn't know how you killed them back in the twenty-first century. I'm sorry Jack, I had no idea… Or else, I would have been there. I would have helped you. But now you're here, crossing my timeline and telling me all this as fact. I can't go back and stop it. It would be a paradox, and a big one," a pause as the Doctor watched Jack's heart stop for a while, before being forced to beat again, "I'm sorry. I can't go back, Jack. You were a time agent. You know that".

Expecting that the shuddering man in front of him would shake himself apart, the Doctor pulled Jack towards him, cradling him to his shoulder in an embrace. The Doctor had the impression that Jack thought the Time Lord could go back in time and stop the 456, preventing Ianto's death. How wrong the Doctor was. The immortal knew all about paradoxes and certain situations that would destroy two thirds of the universe; he'd spent a few centuries avoiding himself. Chuckling unexpectedly with proper laughter, Jack hugged the Doctor tighter, voice coy,

"If you wanted to get close to me, Doctor, all you had to do was ask. I know I'm irresistible".

Rolling his eyes, the Doctor mumbled,

"Will you ever stop, Jack?"

"Oh, you know me Doctor. Of course not. Why would I?"

The Doctor pushed away and gave Jack a look. It wiped the smile from Jack's face. The look was one of sorrow. A sorrow that always lingered there, scarred into those ever-changing rings of colour in ancient eyes. They were also full of pity – a mere slice of the true powerful compassion the Doctor's soul was composed of. And an apology so intense, it went deep into the core of those endless windows. Wiping away that single moment Jack had been allowed to change the subject, they sobered up the immortal and brought him back to the problem at hand.

"You don't have to go back and stop him… dying," Jack said, voice deep and hoarse, "You can bring him back". The Doctor frowned. Did Jack seriously think the Doctor could find a way to bring back the dead? That was impossible. Always was, always will be. The Time Lord should know. He'd looked hard enough. Jack continued his statement, sending chills through an old man and forcing another whine of pain from an old Girl, "…permanently". The Doctor's smile fell, literally as understanding hit him. "Bring him back like you brought me back".

It killed the Time Lord to extinguish the enthusiasm and overpowering hope in Jack's eyes but the Doctor had to.

"Jack…" The tone of his voice did just that: Killed Jack's hope. Grasping on the unreachable air-like form of hope, Jack began his persuasive rant,

"Doctor," The Doctor stopped, shocked by the desperation in Jack's voice. This was a last request, "I have travelled with you so many times to so many places; to the end of the universe and back. I've stood by your side and faced whole armies without a second thought. I've faced death for you, not knowing I would come back and I've done so willingly. And then, when you abandoned me in a future I couldn't begin to understand, with this _curse_; I lived for centuries, dying thousands of times, and taking the long-route. Just to find you and get one, stupid, single answer. And to this very day, I have never asked for a single thing. I've even refused to travel with you, staying on this barren planet to protect it and share that burden of responsibility you hold. Doctor, please".

The Time Lord fell back into the Captain's chair and sighed, pressing his forefingers to the bridge of his nose. Jack carried on talking, his voice catching a wisp of demand.

"I've lived so long. Thousands of years. Maybe millions. I can't remember anymore. And I've had to watch everyone wither and die while I lived on. My family, my friends, everyone I love. I've lost everything Doctor, I don't even have a home anymore! But still I have to go on living, moving on. Not because I want to, but because I have to," his eyes collapsed in on themselves, spilling his tears. He threw his arms out in defeat. "I can't do it anymore. It's killing me, Doctor. I just can't bear to live on, completely alone. I need someone. I need _him_. Just one person; one tiny, insignificant person. Please, just him. I can't live and lose alone anymore. Give me him," he begged, he pleaded and he whispered every word, pregnant tears falling, "Please…"

Hating himself more and more, the Doctor knew Jack was walking on thin-to-the-point-of-none-existent-ice and it was cracking.

"Jack, no". There was a 'final-statement' tone in his voice, "There are too many dangers!"

Falling to his knees as the force on his mind, heart and shoulders grew far too heavy, Jack begged. Jumping up like he'd just been electrocuted, the Doctor basically ran around to the other side of the control room, unable to look at Jack. The Time Lord was a God, undoubtedly, but not by choice and he hated being one. And Jack begging, on his knees, was unacceptable. It was trouble, destruction and death that shadowed_ the Doctor_, not the other way around. And Jack knew this, but still he spoke, on his knees, eyes on the floor.

"Yes, it will mean us both living probably forever, but we won't change things, Doctor. We won't change history. Hell, we'll avoid important events and we will avoid every paradox we could ever make. Just let us find a mountain somewhere and we'll sit and watch the world die for eternity. Just don't make me sit and watch everything die alone". The Doctor turned and looked at Jack now, terrified by the honesty and promise in his voice. Jack really would go and find a mountain and sit there, dying forever, just to have Ianto by his side, dying too. The Tardis groaned loudly in the infinite mind, distressed, and the Time Lord came to his senses.

"Jack, you were brought back because Rose took the heart of the Tardis by force, without being able to control it. You came back by accident. And it almost killed Rose. I had to take it from her and I had to regenerate because it killed me. And the Tardis almost died too, it drained her. It's forbidden. We might not be able to replicate that again…" Jack saw the Doctor was hesitating and couldn't keep the smile from his voice.

"We can try! Rose didn't have you there, Doctor, like you said. She took it by force. But you'll be here, you'll keep the old Girl safe. You don't have to do anything really. Just give me permission. I'll take the heart in myself. I'm not a weak human from the twentieth century; I'm an immortal man for the fifty-first, who's lived for thousands of years and died thousands of times. It can't kill me".

A sad smile crept onto the Time Lord's face even though it shouldn't have. Jack's enthusiasm and flooding, completely wrong but never so right hope thrilled the Doctor. Humans were amazing. But he wasn't giving in, not yet. Even thought Jack had one hell of a point. It just… couldn't happen. The chances of failure were so great. The disappointment might really kill Jack.

"The heart of the Tardis is time itself, Jack. It gave you life. It can take it away just as easily". Jack didn't even hesitate, replying within the space of a heartbeat.

"I don't care! Even if the chance of bringing Ianto back like me is one in a million, I would still take the risk. If I do die, and it is permanently, I would still take the risk. Don't you understand? I would rather spend one lifetime with Ianto then a million without him". The immortal stood up, and he crept towards the Doctor, standing in front of the Time Lord. The Doctor was suddenly a child, tiny and vulnerable, open to the raw pain immortality brought. It wasn't only Jack that had suffered the pain of loneliness. The Doctor had turned his head, unable to meet Jack's eyes. Pulling his chin up, Jack brought the Doctor's eyes up too and he said three words that made the Time Lord sigh, "Let me try".

But still, after it all, the Doctor just couldn't… The risks! And the Tardis, she'd gone through so much! With the Master and with the regenerations and with the heart being taken out that first time!

"Jack…"

The immortal snapped. No more excuses. No more bargaining. He'd hit the core of this problem and he'd strike so many nerves that he'd leave himself in pieces but he wouldn't leave this blue Goddamn box without Ianto. After his many excruciating lives, he deserved one person! Just one little person. Please… No. No more begging.

"You want to know the last thing I said to him, Doctor?" The Time Lord cringed. He knew this had been coming. He could heard how the immortal was shredding up inside, having to go into this much detail. But the Doctor had no idea how much it would impact on him. "He said, that… beautiful fool, he said 'In a thousand years time… you won't re-remember me'. And, as much as I _fucking_ have to admit it, he's right. I have the body and the heart of human, even if I don't have the age-span of one. And, God forbid, I have the bloody mind of one too! I physically won't be able to remember, Doctor. I don't want to forget. Not anymore. I won't remember his face or his voice and it'll get to the point where I won't remember his name," he began to sob again, silent, echoing and fistful sobs, "But I promised him. I promised I would remember him. Let me remember him, Doctor. Let me have him beside me so I _will_ always remember him. Just let me try," The Doctor let another barbaric tear fall, "Will you let me try?"

There was a silence; a heavy, desperate silence. Anticipation hung in the air like an uninvited guest, stealing away restless breath. Looks of guilt and hope hit both sides of a winless war. There was a quiet humming in the background as the Tardis whispered to the Doctor, having a little battle of Her own, seeing finally what the Doctor saw. But it came down to this. To one single word. Three or two? Negative or positive? Yes or no?

"Okay," the Doctor mumbled with a dry throat. Jack blinked and licked his lips, frowning. Sighing, but smiling slightly, the Doctor repeated, "I will let you try".

And then Jack kissed him.


	3. Back

**Bring Him Back: Chapter Three**

Rubbing a shaky hand through his hair, the Doctor looked hesitantly at Jack. The immortal was standing, trembling with anticipation, with agonising, brilliant hope and brimming with happiness – seemingly for the first time in months – yet underneath it all, the reason his head felt light, and his chest fluttered and sweat broke out across his naked flesh was because of beautiful, _beautiful_ fear. The risks and the dangers outweighed the glorious possibilities. Jack could die, actually die… Or Ianto could lose his place in the world beyond and get stuck, a phantom of the universe… The Tardis could be ripped apart, if the Doctor didn't prepare Her for it, if Jack was too reckless… The universe itself could collapse. That's everybody. For the sake of one?

The Doctor still couldn't believe he was actually doing this. Yet, he kept telling himself, making his own pain greater, making the Tardis whine with pity… telling himself it's what Rose would have done. She would have risked it all just for one, just for Ianto, for Jack and… Ianto was Jack's Rose. The one person who managed to get beneath the skin of a man who was cracked and rigid with the horrors he had seen, with his experiences, with his _memories…_ So the Doctor sighed deeply, pushing his forefingers against his temples until his skin turned bone-white.

The Tardis screamed in disapproval, thrashing and scratching his delicate mind, demanding to be heard and refusing to obey the Doctor's orders. Yet, when the Time Lord thought of Rose, of his love-long-lost, pity swelled from the blinding silver light that was the Tardis, and She almost sighed. Then the Doctor asked, voice begging. _Help him…_ And She agreed, with contemplation and fury. But She made it clear she was doing this only for the Doctor and not that flamboyant _mistake!_ The Doctor chuckled quietly at this and thanked Her, affection warming Her blinding insides.

Then he stood up, brushing his legs free of creases in a un-Doctor-y way and Jack smiled widely but weakly, a faint tickle of admiration touching ancient alien eyes as the Doctor smiled back. Humans… amazing yet terrible creatures. They would always be the Time Lord's favourite, if only they could sort themselves out and stop their petty bickering. Civil war would never leave their systems, but they would quieten down when war from other races soon came to them.

"This will hurt," the Doctor mumbled, knowing it was unnecessary and that he'd already told Jack… twice. The immortal raise an eye-brown, slightly intrigued by the change in a brutally brilliant man, while also rather unsettled by it. The Doctor really didn't want to do this. Was Jack pushing too far? No. It was for Ianto. The Doctor would be fine. He always was. Jack had to be selfish, just this once.

"I've gone through worse, Doc". A serious look passed over the Time Lord's face and his eyes became dull and dim, frustration sparking somewhere deep inside. It chilled Jack to the bone.

"No, you haven't". He said matter-of-factly and Jack swallowed, but smiled.

"I don't care". The Doctor glanced to the floor.

"You will," he whispered under his breath, low enough for Jack not to hear. The immortal bounced from side to side, cracking his neck and taking deep breaths. He stared fiercely at the piece of living, breathing, humming technology in front of him.

"Okay, Doctor. Let's do this".

The Doctor frowned. Jack grinned, so hopeful, so brimming with affection, yet so afraid. The Doctor closed his eyes and reached out blindly, hand falling on the computer of his Mind-sister, and his other hand falling on a lever. Just one, pathetic, tiny lever that could unleash Hell. The apocalypse was coming, baby, and with a vengeance.

"Good luck," the Doctor said, voice contrasting his emotions as he sounded as if he barely meant, as if it was unnecessary whereas beneath everything, he was_ terrified_. In his mind, he whispered, warningly. _Play nice…_

He got a growl in return.

Then, unwillingly, he unleashed Hell and stood back, eyes closed. He did not watch.

The Tardis snarled with such ferocity that Jack was thrown against the wall, a force so impossible from just a voice physically throwing him. The Tardis was back online. She glowed red, enraged, outraged, _raged_ beyond belief. The Doctor cringed as it bounced through their connection. Machinery ripped itself open, chucks of debris caged inside a blue box of impossibility. The Creature of the Tardis crawled grotesquely from Her prison, glaring unforgivably at Jack. At Her forced mistake.

Pouncing with such power, She plunged into the immortal, piercing his unstable mind, forcing an excruciatingly agonised scream from Jack. The Doctor didn't flinch. She clawed at all Jack's past suffering, misery, gloom with thoughtlessness and merciless intent, increasing his pain and barely at the beginning of the procedure, Jack felt more pain than he ever had before. She tore him apart, bit by _wrong_ bit and put him back together so very badly, it was unbearable and hideous and damned-near horrific.

Jack screamed and screamed, he bled, and he wept, but more than anything he prayed. Prayed to a God he knew didn't exist. There was not an ounce of pity from either of the other presences in the box of blue.

Eventually, She dug beneath his shell of _wrongness_ and she saw everything. She saw mistakes and blessings and murder and heartbreak and suicide and so many wars… The blood from his sins coated Her hands like glorious gloves of scarlet and She sneered. Then She dug out his heart and cast it away, careless and uncomprehending. Replacing his life force, She considered righting a wrong but then She cast Her demonic glory to the Doctor's pained but neutral visage, beneath that ridiculous fleshy _body_ to his soul of pure bliss and She sighed. She had promised.

Taking on his mind, She cast Herself into his memories, through with Her tormenting and got to work. She too screamed with the agony of the truth he had witnessed, and together the silence of vast abyss of time and space was disturbed for the tiniest of moments, the echoes still shaking the foundations of existence at the End of It All.

A blank pearly form uncurled in the middle of the Tardis's control room, a small, fragile, _wrong_ form. It wept from the Anguish from which it was made. She wove and carved; the pain indescribable and physically blinding to the universe. Together, the Man and the Goddess burnt up whole solar systems. Creatures anywhere, whole races, entire civilisation were annihilated. They committed genocide. And the Doctor let them. This was apocalyptic compared to Rose's angelic try. But the Tardis felt bitter over Jack's very existence and the Doctor was reminded just what his only eternal companion was. And then he remembered he had seen this when he first stepped through Her doors, which weren't doors at the time, and made the connection and he saw the awe the true terrifying soul She bore yet still he never stepped back out and broke that connection. Not 'til the end of his lives.

The form grew a mind, a brilliant, insignificant mind. Then its soul blossomed after, so blindly beautiful, the Doctor turned his head. He could see every soul he came close to. Another curse of the Time Lords. It was also one of his weaknesses, yet none knew it. None except the Master… The Doctor shivered. And then the body materialised, flawed and perfect. The Tardis blessed this being, spit upon it with a curled lip and scoffed. For the Doctor. And then She retreated, making sure to mark Her territory inside Jack's being, tearing a tiny strip of his soul away and engulfing it, smiling stunningly.

There was light, such light! And then she was encaged again, but not before she delicately, so delicately kissed the Doctor's forehead and soothed an aching mind. Compared to Her previous behaviour, the change was impossible, yet She loved Her Time Lord. A Tardis could only connect to one Her whole existence.

Then things were back to normality. The glow turned from deep crimson to cobalt instantly and then it dimmed as She put Herself into hibernation. She was a good Girl. Then silence, except for a purr-like humming of satisfaction.

Jack fell, batter, bruised, and scorned yet not a mark on him. Not even from where the Tardis had flung him all over the fabric of reality. And he fell onto his knees and hands, trembling violently and painfully. It hurt with every breath, as if he were breathing in the essence of Death. That never went away. He was actually giving his life-force to the being before him. Forever. The Tardis would not burden Herself again, not like that _human_ had made Her do!

Jack opened eyes and he was silent and still, staring at a world that shouldn't be in existence with a force like the Tardis there. The Doctor still had his eyes closed. He was paralyzed, feeding the Tardis his anger yet his gratitude. Jack had no idea what the Doctor had to do to convince the Tardis to do what She did.

And then someone else opened his eyes, blinking in both fascination and horror. Sapphires gleamed yet again. It was so _wrong, _so _impossible_, and so very _real! _Ianto looked so normal, despite the lack of clothes, of course. Like he'd just awoken on a late morning, rushing about getting prepared, guilty yet blissful. His eyes were round and shining, as he looked at an alien world and felt such delicious fear. The Tardis hummed soothingly at Her new creation. Ianto merely took in a breath he was forbidden to breathe, that was not his to breathe, and that was stolen yet given.

Then he turned, the first movement in over a year in a body regenerated and stolen from beneath the Earth, and he locked eyes with his soul mate. He blinked in surprise and his voice crackled into existence.

"I know you…" he whispered, so richly and so confused. Jack's mind sighed and a tear spilt from the immortal's man's eyes. Then Jack's heart beat willingly for the first time in a long time. There were two immortal men now. He grinned brilliantly and Ianto felt a traitorous sob rise from his chest unwillingly. His mind smiled as it clicked into reality. "I know you!" He cried.

"Hey Sailor," Jack murmured, groaning with pain as he moved, "How long you in dock?"

Ianto found his body alive, well and God-Bless, working! He threw himself at Jack and then the world was at peace.

……………………………..

An immortal man looked down upon a world of Death and Destruction and eternal, never-ending Doom and pleas were carried up to him on the smoked from the Unquenchable Flames. 'HELP US! SAVE US! PLEASE!' But a once-Captain turned his head, eyes closing with the memory of a promise made long ago. He would not intervene. Never again. He clasped the hand of the Lover stood next to him and together they stood, silent, as the world around them collapsed and the Apocalypse was birthed from the ashes of a Damned World. They were content as their children died. The Mountain beneath them groaned with the weight on their shoulders. But they were content.

Perfected bliss.

* * *

_I wanna stay right here, 'til the end of time, 'til the Earth stops turning. I'm gunna love you 'til the seas runs dry. I've found the one I've waited for _- Lamb – Gorecki

***sigh* If only.**


End file.
